I always thought that the police investigation into the cash for honours affair, however much fun it might have been to see Tony Blair become the subject of a police investigation, missed the real point. Giving honours to people who have served their party in some way or another, including by donating money, has long been a feature of political life. It is something that Labour and Tory alike have long seen as ‘business as usual’.
The real scandal, to me, was that a governing party which pledged to bring transparency to political funding, and passed laws requiring donations to be declared, then proceeded to use a loophole in its own legislation by asking potential donors to turn their gifts into loans so that they would not need to be declared.
It was not illegal, but it was clearly in direct contradiction of the spirit behind the legislation which they had enacted. I can see how some would assume that that subterfuge must be hiding some bigger sin, which I suppose is how it developed into a suggestion that honours were being sold, but I suspect that it really was as simple as a desire to hide the sources of party funds; no more, no less.
The danger for Labour in the Abrahams affair is that this starts to look like a pattern. Here again, the objective seems to have been to disguise the real source of funds. The key difference is that, in this case, as Brown himself has admitted, there is a clear breach of the law rather than mere use of a loophole, but the underlying cause is exactly the same – an attempt to conceal the source of the funding.
In the case of the ‘loans’, it was clearly the Labour Party itself which instigated the concealment. At this stage in the Abrahams case, it is unclear whether it was the party or the donor or both who wanted to conceal the source – I guess that will be pretty central to the police investigation. It is already clear however that whoever instigated the proposal, the details were known by both the donor and by senior people in the party – and all of them should have known what the law says on the matter.
The surprising thing is how quickly the matter has snowballed to involve donations to internal party campaigns, and the impact on Brown himself. I don’t think it threatens his survival – yet – although things look pretty bleak for Harriet Harman’s prospects. I find myself wondering whether he has really been told everything, or whether there are some misguided people who think that they are protecting him by not giving him the whole picture.
If he wants to come out of this with minimum damage, I think he needs to deliberately over-react at this stage, before things get any worse. Anyone who personally knew about or was involved in an attempt to conceal the source of funds needs to go. And Brown needs to satisfy himself, quietly but definitely, that there are no other little dodges being used to conceal the sources of party funding.
I’m not suggesting for a moment that the other parties are entirely clean on the issue of funding either, and there’s more than a little hypocrisy in the way that the Tories in particular (but not uniquely) have jumped on this one. But trying to respond to this situation by attacking others will only make matters worse, and increase the overall level of cynicism about politicians.
Friday, 30 November 2007
Wednesday, 28 November 2007
Ambition isn't the same as Ability
It’s not often that I come to the support of the Lib Dems – in fact I think it's a first. But the criticism of that party in the editorial in Monday’s Western Mail was wholly unfair; and that’s a second first in a single post – agreeing with Peter Black about anything.
This is not the first time that the Western Mail has attacked parties for making efforts to achieve a degree of gender balance in Welsh politics, but it is probably the first time that their leader writer has shown so clearly how little time he has for the notion that parties should be actively seeking the best people rather than sitting back and waiting for them to appear.
The Western Mail seems to think that ambition is the key attribute that we should be looking for in our politicans, and if women simply don’t have the ambition, then we should stick to the people - largely men - who do. On this point, I'm afraid that I have enormous sympathy with the standpoint of Billy Connolly, who once said that anyone who actually wanted to be a member of parliament should for that reason alone be automatically disqualified.
I don't particularly want our elected institutions to be stuffed with people (aka macho men) who are bursting with ambition. That’s exactly what we’ve had for generations, and look at where it’s got us. Ambition is not at all the same thing as ability - and an unkind person might even suggest that there's some evidence that the two can be mutually exclusive.
I want the most able and talented people; people who are willing to give of their ability and talents to serve the people who elect them, and to present alternative visions of how things can be, rather than just fight each other for the top jobs. And I want parties which are willing to go and look for those talents and abilities even amongst – no, especially amongst – groups of people in society who might be reluctant to put themselves forward.
Now, the Western Mail might argue that not all of the people whom we have elected, whether to the Assembly or to Parliament, or to the European Parliament, have the necessary talents and abilities to do the job. That’s a different argument entirely (although I am far from convinced that it’s a problem which applies solely, or even predominantly, to the female members of those institutions). If the people we have in our elected institutions are not the best or most able available – and I suspect that a lot of people might actually agree with that suggestion – then we should be asking ourselves why those able people are not interested, rather than simply making do with those who are.
That’s a real challenge for all of the parties.
This is not the first time that the Western Mail has attacked parties for making efforts to achieve a degree of gender balance in Welsh politics, but it is probably the first time that their leader writer has shown so clearly how little time he has for the notion that parties should be actively seeking the best people rather than sitting back and waiting for them to appear.
The Western Mail seems to think that ambition is the key attribute that we should be looking for in our politicans, and if women simply don’t have the ambition, then we should stick to the people - largely men - who do. On this point, I'm afraid that I have enormous sympathy with the standpoint of Billy Connolly, who once said that anyone who actually wanted to be a member of parliament should for that reason alone be automatically disqualified.
I don't particularly want our elected institutions to be stuffed with people (aka macho men) who are bursting with ambition. That’s exactly what we’ve had for generations, and look at where it’s got us. Ambition is not at all the same thing as ability - and an unkind person might even suggest that there's some evidence that the two can be mutually exclusive.
I want the most able and talented people; people who are willing to give of their ability and talents to serve the people who elect them, and to present alternative visions of how things can be, rather than just fight each other for the top jobs. And I want parties which are willing to go and look for those talents and abilities even amongst – no, especially amongst – groups of people in society who might be reluctant to put themselves forward.
Now, the Western Mail might argue that not all of the people whom we have elected, whether to the Assembly or to Parliament, or to the European Parliament, have the necessary talents and abilities to do the job. That’s a different argument entirely (although I am far from convinced that it’s a problem which applies solely, or even predominantly, to the female members of those institutions). If the people we have in our elected institutions are not the best or most able available – and I suspect that a lot of people might actually agree with that suggestion – then we should be asking ourselves why those able people are not interested, rather than simply making do with those who are.
That’s a real challenge for all of the parties.
Tuesday, 27 November 2007
Wigl he, or Wigl he not?
Along with just about everyone else, I had assumed that Dafydd Wigley was an absolute shoo-in for a peerage now that Plaid have changed their stance on the issue. But the more he talks himself up, the less certain that I become.
Yesterday’s Western Mail piece was, ostensibly, an indication that he was ready and willing to go (and was accompanied by the now customary paean of praise from his chief fan Martin Shipton). But he also seemed to be laying down some conditions - one of which is outside the control of his party, and the other is one that they may well be unwilling to agree to. Is he perhaps trying to give himself some Wigl(ey)-room to decline the ‘opportunity’ after all?
Firstly, he wants to go as part of a phalanx of new peers from both his own party and the Labour Party, and even goes so far as to suggest the people whom the Labour Party should nominate. There is no chance of his own party being able to deliver on this condition - and I cannot imagine that Labour will be overly ecstatic about having him tell them what to do either. (Hopefully, some of the more outspoken Labour members will leave it a day or two to calm down before responding to his friendly 'advice'.)
Secondly, he seems to want to become an ex-officio member of the party’s group in the National Assembly – a status which is currently not even granted to elected members of the Westminster parliament. Is this really about helping him to do a job in the Lords, or is it just a way of trying to get more influence over what his party's group are doing in Cardiff? I can really imagine Ieuan Wyn Jones welcoming this sort of potential interference in the Assembly group. Not.
So, when Wigley says that he would find it difficult to acept nomination if both conditions are not accepted, what is he trying to achieve?
I suspect that, in agreeing to nominate peers, Plaid may have crossed one bridge only to find a much tougher one in front of them. They want 'working' peers; people who will spend significant amounts of time in the House of Lords scrutinising Welsh legislation and attempting to table amendments; what they do not want is a few celebrities with titles (so I guess that weather presenters need not bother applying).
Despite the talk of the level of ‘allowances’ payable to peers, the job is not salaried like that of humble MP’s and AM’s, so the only people likely to be able to meet the party’s requirements are going to be those with another income and no real need to work. 'Retired' politicians fit the bill quite well (which is why there are so many of them in the place already), but they have always been in rather short supply within Plaid. Perhaps the would-be Lord Bontnewydd simply believes that his hand is so strong that his party can’t refuse him.
Yesterday’s Western Mail piece was, ostensibly, an indication that he was ready and willing to go (and was accompanied by the now customary paean of praise from his chief fan Martin Shipton). But he also seemed to be laying down some conditions - one of which is outside the control of his party, and the other is one that they may well be unwilling to agree to. Is he perhaps trying to give himself some Wigl(ey)-room to decline the ‘opportunity’ after all?
Firstly, he wants to go as part of a phalanx of new peers from both his own party and the Labour Party, and even goes so far as to suggest the people whom the Labour Party should nominate. There is no chance of his own party being able to deliver on this condition - and I cannot imagine that Labour will be overly ecstatic about having him tell them what to do either. (Hopefully, some of the more outspoken Labour members will leave it a day or two to calm down before responding to his friendly 'advice'.)
Secondly, he seems to want to become an ex-officio member of the party’s group in the National Assembly – a status which is currently not even granted to elected members of the Westminster parliament. Is this really about helping him to do a job in the Lords, or is it just a way of trying to get more influence over what his party's group are doing in Cardiff? I can really imagine Ieuan Wyn Jones welcoming this sort of potential interference in the Assembly group. Not.
So, when Wigley says that he would find it difficult to acept nomination if both conditions are not accepted, what is he trying to achieve?
I suspect that, in agreeing to nominate peers, Plaid may have crossed one bridge only to find a much tougher one in front of them. They want 'working' peers; people who will spend significant amounts of time in the House of Lords scrutinising Welsh legislation and attempting to table amendments; what they do not want is a few celebrities with titles (so I guess that weather presenters need not bother applying).
Despite the talk of the level of ‘allowances’ payable to peers, the job is not salaried like that of humble MP’s and AM’s, so the only people likely to be able to meet the party’s requirements are going to be those with another income and no real need to work. 'Retired' politicians fit the bill quite well (which is why there are so many of them in the place already), but they have always been in rather short supply within Plaid. Perhaps the would-be Lord Bontnewydd simply believes that his hand is so strong that his party can’t refuse him.
Monday, 26 November 2007
Defence of the Realm
Hopefully, the dust has settled enough by now to take a rather more objective view of the Plaid position paper on defence which was ‘leaked’ to the media before the party even had a chance to discuss it. The response by some was a little hysterical to say the least; one might almost think that challenging the basis on which defence policy should be built is another taboo subject.
As far as I can see there was nothing particularly new or radical in the paper; most of it seemed to be just repeating what Plaid had said over many years. In that context, my favourite response has to be that of Alun Davies AM - calling Jill Evans a 'nutter' for continuing to espouse a policy stance on which, as I recall, Davies himself fought elections in the past. Does that make him a lapsed nutter?
Anyway, I digress. There were really two aspects to what Evans wrote; the first was a restatement of the principles underpinning Plaid’s defence policy, and the second was a discussion of the Defence Training establishment at St Athans.
Plaid has a serious problem on the whole issue of defence, because they have to try and frame two different policies - one to deal with the way they would like to see an independent Wales behaving, and the other for the (what they would presumably see as interim) period until that point. Clashes and contradictions between these two policies are inevitable.
The soft option would be to frame only a very short term policy, and state that anything else is too far in the future to be worth even considering at this stage. It would avoid many of the contradictions, and enable the party to argue, perfectly naturally for a nationalist party, that Wales should have its fair share of military expenditure and jobs.
But that soft option would be a complete cop-out, and it is surely to the credit of Evans that she has been honest and open on the issue, and has stuck to her principles - something which so few politicians seem to be willing to do these days - rather than simply looking for a more populist position.
It is interesting that the responses all seemed to be attempting to ridicule Evans and her party rather than engage in serious debate. Neither Ireland nor Sweden, for instance (although both members of the EU) are part of NATO, and their miltary policies are geared largely to defence rather than offence – a position quite similar to what I understand that Evans was advocating. Anyone want to go to either of those countries and tell them that their defence policy is so utterly ludicrous that it doesn’t even merit serious debate? For a small independent country, it's a sensible position - surely there can be no great surprise that Plaid would come to similar conclusions.
But an independent Wales, if there is ever to be one, is far in the future; of more immediate significance, perhaps, is the issue of the Defence Training Academy at St Athans. Here we have a direct clash between the economic driver of getting more jobs and investment into the Welsh economy, and the deeply-held views of some people who oppose militarism. It was presented as a problem for Plaid. It certainly is; but it is also a problem for Labour. Perhaps Plaid's anti-militarist wing is more obvious, and stronger within that party, but the strength of similar feelings amongst many long-standing members of the Labour Party should not be underestimated either.
It is a mistake to turn this into a purely party political issue, with the different parties merely trying to score points. There are some serious questions to be answered about the extent to which we want jobs at any price. There are questions about the involvement of companies that are involved in the arms trade, and there are certainly questions to be asked about the training of soldiers for countries whose regimes use their military forces for internal oppression.
Evans and Plaid have raised legitimate concerns; they deserve to be debated, not dismissed. The suggestions, which some appeared to be making, that we cannot afford to even discuss these issues for fear of losing the jobs, or that to even ask such questions is somehow undermining ‘our boys’ is little more than an unworthy attempt to suppress an important debate.
As far as I can see there was nothing particularly new or radical in the paper; most of it seemed to be just repeating what Plaid had said over many years. In that context, my favourite response has to be that of Alun Davies AM - calling Jill Evans a 'nutter' for continuing to espouse a policy stance on which, as I recall, Davies himself fought elections in the past. Does that make him a lapsed nutter?
Anyway, I digress. There were really two aspects to what Evans wrote; the first was a restatement of the principles underpinning Plaid’s defence policy, and the second was a discussion of the Defence Training establishment at St Athans.
Plaid has a serious problem on the whole issue of defence, because they have to try and frame two different policies - one to deal with the way they would like to see an independent Wales behaving, and the other for the (what they would presumably see as interim) period until that point. Clashes and contradictions between these two policies are inevitable.
The soft option would be to frame only a very short term policy, and state that anything else is too far in the future to be worth even considering at this stage. It would avoid many of the contradictions, and enable the party to argue, perfectly naturally for a nationalist party, that Wales should have its fair share of military expenditure and jobs.
But that soft option would be a complete cop-out, and it is surely to the credit of Evans that she has been honest and open on the issue, and has stuck to her principles - something which so few politicians seem to be willing to do these days - rather than simply looking for a more populist position.
It is interesting that the responses all seemed to be attempting to ridicule Evans and her party rather than engage in serious debate. Neither Ireland nor Sweden, for instance (although both members of the EU) are part of NATO, and their miltary policies are geared largely to defence rather than offence – a position quite similar to what I understand that Evans was advocating. Anyone want to go to either of those countries and tell them that their defence policy is so utterly ludicrous that it doesn’t even merit serious debate? For a small independent country, it's a sensible position - surely there can be no great surprise that Plaid would come to similar conclusions.
But an independent Wales, if there is ever to be one, is far in the future; of more immediate significance, perhaps, is the issue of the Defence Training Academy at St Athans. Here we have a direct clash between the economic driver of getting more jobs and investment into the Welsh economy, and the deeply-held views of some people who oppose militarism. It was presented as a problem for Plaid. It certainly is; but it is also a problem for Labour. Perhaps Plaid's anti-militarist wing is more obvious, and stronger within that party, but the strength of similar feelings amongst many long-standing members of the Labour Party should not be underestimated either.
It is a mistake to turn this into a purely party political issue, with the different parties merely trying to score points. There are some serious questions to be answered about the extent to which we want jobs at any price. There are questions about the involvement of companies that are involved in the arms trade, and there are certainly questions to be asked about the training of soldiers for countries whose regimes use their military forces for internal oppression.
Evans and Plaid have raised legitimate concerns; they deserve to be debated, not dismissed. The suggestions, which some appeared to be making, that we cannot afford to even discuss these issues for fear of losing the jobs, or that to even ask such questions is somehow undermining ‘our boys’ is little more than an unworthy attempt to suppress an important debate.
Wednesday, 21 November 2007
Newspeak
It was entirely predictable that Local Government would face a tight financial settlement from the Assembly Government this year, and many did indeed predict it. The enthusiasm of the junior partner in the coalition for a tighter version of the approach which they condemned so strongly in the past was rather less predictable – the zeal of the convert, perhaps.
In any event, all across Wales, the officers and members of local authorities will be busy scratching their heads as to how they should impose the budget cuts – sorry, identify the efficiency savings - which are now being required of them.
Only the naïve or the deluded – and, of course, members of the Assembly Government – can really believe that there will be much in the nature of ‘efficiency’ in what happens. Efficiency, to me, has a very explicit meaning. Doing things more efficiently means achieving the same outcome by expending fewer resources. Yet in most cases, what will be under consideration is how to re-jig what is being done, rather than how it is being done, in order to save cost - not at all the same thing.
There are a few obvious targets, of course. One, which was mentioned, as part of what may happen, by Vaughan Roderick, is to leave jobs unfilled. This certainly avoids expenditure - but does it really improve efficiency? If the work of the post holder gets done by other staff working extra hours, then it's not a service cut as such, but it is a reduction in employment opportunities (aka job cut), and a worsening of employment conditions for the other staff. If the work doesn't get done at all, then it's a service cut. The only way in which it could be called an 'efficiency' saving is if the job contributed nothing in the first place.
Those even more cynical than I might argue that many jobs in Local Government do indeed contribute little or nothing – but that’s not the reality for service users. In practice, unfilled jobs tend to be experienced in terms of longer response times to all sorts of situations - waiting times for grant applications to be processed, delays before children at risk are seen and assessed, delays in processing housing benefit claims and so on. Service level cuts in all but name.
I am aware of some councils looking at reducing the standard of maintenance on buildings and parks. Cutting the grass less frequently may well be something worth doing anyway, but it’s not an ‘efficiency’ saving; it’s a revision of the specification of the service to be delivered.
Maintaining buildings less frequently is a harder case for them to argue; it may save money in the short term, but it stores up problems, and costs, for the longer term. Why else do we have such a backlog of repairs in our schools requiring such a high capital expenditure now to bring them up to standard? This is past ‘efficiency savings’, aka false economies, catching up with us.
There is, of course, nothing fundamentally wrong with the paymaster, in this case, the Assembly Government, telling the recipients of its largesse, in this case, Welsh local government, that they must manage on less money. It's a valid political decision to take, even if one with which some of us disagree. What I object to is the dishonesty of the presentation - trying to present a budget cut (bad) as efficiency savings (good) when you know that you’re actually going to be reducing the level of services or jobs, is just a form of newspeak.
UPDATE: In a line that I couldn't have made up, a spokesperson for the Vale of Glamorgan Council last week stated that school Christmas lunches would be minus the traditional trimmings, and described this as an 'efficiency saving'. I rest my case.
In any event, all across Wales, the officers and members of local authorities will be busy scratching their heads as to how they should impose the budget cuts – sorry, identify the efficiency savings - which are now being required of them.
Only the naïve or the deluded – and, of course, members of the Assembly Government – can really believe that there will be much in the nature of ‘efficiency’ in what happens. Efficiency, to me, has a very explicit meaning. Doing things more efficiently means achieving the same outcome by expending fewer resources. Yet in most cases, what will be under consideration is how to re-jig what is being done, rather than how it is being done, in order to save cost - not at all the same thing.
There are a few obvious targets, of course. One, which was mentioned, as part of what may happen, by Vaughan Roderick, is to leave jobs unfilled. This certainly avoids expenditure - but does it really improve efficiency? If the work of the post holder gets done by other staff working extra hours, then it's not a service cut as such, but it is a reduction in employment opportunities (aka job cut), and a worsening of employment conditions for the other staff. If the work doesn't get done at all, then it's a service cut. The only way in which it could be called an 'efficiency' saving is if the job contributed nothing in the first place.
Those even more cynical than I might argue that many jobs in Local Government do indeed contribute little or nothing – but that’s not the reality for service users. In practice, unfilled jobs tend to be experienced in terms of longer response times to all sorts of situations - waiting times for grant applications to be processed, delays before children at risk are seen and assessed, delays in processing housing benefit claims and so on. Service level cuts in all but name.
I am aware of some councils looking at reducing the standard of maintenance on buildings and parks. Cutting the grass less frequently may well be something worth doing anyway, but it’s not an ‘efficiency’ saving; it’s a revision of the specification of the service to be delivered.
Maintaining buildings less frequently is a harder case for them to argue; it may save money in the short term, but it stores up problems, and costs, for the longer term. Why else do we have such a backlog of repairs in our schools requiring such a high capital expenditure now to bring them up to standard? This is past ‘efficiency savings’, aka false economies, catching up with us.
There is, of course, nothing fundamentally wrong with the paymaster, in this case, the Assembly Government, telling the recipients of its largesse, in this case, Welsh local government, that they must manage on less money. It's a valid political decision to take, even if one with which some of us disagree. What I object to is the dishonesty of the presentation - trying to present a budget cut (bad) as efficiency savings (good) when you know that you’re actually going to be reducing the level of services or jobs, is just a form of newspeak.
UPDATE: In a line that I couldn't have made up, a spokesperson for the Vale of Glamorgan Council last week stated that school Christmas lunches would be minus the traditional trimmings, and described this as an 'efficiency saving'. I rest my case.
Out of sight, out of mind
Sadly, the need to earn one’s daily crust by working irregular hours and travelling sometimes makes it difficult to keep up to date, but I’m sort of back again now. Consistency and regularity is not a particularly strong characteristic of this blog. There are a few things that I've missed that I may find an opportunity to comment on sometime, although the world is unlikely to come to a halt if I don't. I've had no more leaked transcripts from the Heritage Bunker, though - security in the Senedd is obviously improving, even if HMRC seem to be having a few little local difficulties.
There is another tagged task doing the rounds, which Valleys Mam and Miss Wagstaff have both pointed at me, inter alia. I’m never entirely sure about these things – I always had a very strong aversion to chain letters as a child as well. Not only that, but I can’t find 8 things under most of the headings either; what a sad life I lead. So I’m afraid that I’m going to have to give that one a miss.
There is another tagged task doing the rounds, which Valleys Mam and Miss Wagstaff have both pointed at me, inter alia. I’m never entirely sure about these things – I always had a very strong aversion to chain letters as a child as well. Not only that, but I can’t find 8 things under most of the headings either; what a sad life I lead. So I’m afraid that I’m going to have to give that one a miss.
Saturday, 10 November 2007
From the Heritage Bunker (Episode 3)
Sir Humphrey: Minister, I’m delighted to be able to tell you that the lengthy and arduous negotiations with the Millennium Centre have been entirely successful.
Minister: Excellent news Sir Humphrey. How much are we giving them?
Sir Humphrey: £13.5 million now and an extra £2.5 million a year.
Minister: And how much did they ask for?
Sir Humphrey: £13.5 million now and an extra £2.5 million a year.
Minister: What was our initial offer?
Sir Humphrey: £13.5 million now and an extra £2.5 million a year.
Minister: That doesn't sound much like negotiation to me.
Bernard: Yes it is Minister. Negotiation is about discussions leading to an agreement or settlement. We’ve had discussions and have arrived at a settlement, so technically that's a negotiation.
Minister: Thank you Bernard. Which projects are going to suffer as a result?
Sir Humphrey: None of them, Minister. In fact, we’re going to be able to give extra money to everybody else as well.
Minister: But I thought you told me that this was a tight budget settlement? Isn’t that what we told the press as well? I can almost hear my opponents talking about smoke and mirrors already. Where’s all this extra money coming from?
Sir Humphrey: Well, yes, it is indeed a tight budget settlement. Very tight. Lots of belts will have to be tightened all round, but we’ve managed to get some significant extra money for this department this year despite that. And the initial payment of £13.5 million is being made from previous underspends on a range of other projects, so it's not new money at all.
Minister: So I can announce that I’ve saved the Centre from debt, secured its future, and I can still give extra money to everyone else. There are no losers?
Sir Humphrey: Relatively speaking, exactly so, Minister.
Minister: Relatively speaking?
Bernard: Well, Minister, you could have decided not to save the Millennium Centre, and then the money that you’re using to save it could have been put to other uses, so that the people who are getting extra money could have had extra extra money which they are now not going to get, which means that the amount of extra money that they are getting is less than it could have been so that they have lost some of the extra money but are still getting the rest of the extra money.
Minister: What?
Sir Humphrey: Nobody will notice that, Minister. They’ll all be jolly pleased at what an excellent job I, I mean you, have done in getting them extra money.
Minister: But we have secured the Centre’s future?
Sir Humphrey: Oh, yes, Minister. Well, until the next crisis anyway.
Minister: Next crisis? When will that be?
Sir Humphrey: Hard to say, Minister. It should take them at least a year or two to spend all the money we’ve given them before they start to run up new debts.
Bernard: But there will have been a cabinet re-shuffle by then.
Minister: I see. This pot of underspent money that we’re using – is there more?
Sir Humphrey: In what sense, Minister?
Minister: In the sense of pounds and pennies, cash in the bank, money that I can spend. Is there another sense to money?
Sir Humphrey: Well there are always underspends, Minister, otherwise how would any Government ever be able to find money to deal with an emergency like this. But they can only be used to deal with real emergencies. It would be most unwise to use them for anything else.
Minister: So how do I decide what is a real emergency?
Sir Humphrey: Most Ministers are happy to make that decision when they read about it in the papers, or hear about it on the television. That’s the traditional way of doing things.
Bernard: Usually after someone has leaked confidential information.
Minister: But there are some underspends which I haven't yet spent?
Sir Humphrey: Most probably, Minister, but we wouldn’t find them until we looked for them, and we wouldn’t start auditing the other projects looking for underspends until we knew that we needed the money to deal with an emergency.
Minister: So if, hypothetically, there were to be other underspends, we wouldn’t know about them until we looked for them, and we wouldn’t look for them until we needed them, and we wouldn’t need them until there was a crisis, and there wouldn’t be a crisis until I read about it in the papers?
Sir Humphrey and Bernard: Yes, Minister.
Minister: Excellent news Sir Humphrey. How much are we giving them?
Sir Humphrey: £13.5 million now and an extra £2.5 million a year.
Minister: And how much did they ask for?
Sir Humphrey: £13.5 million now and an extra £2.5 million a year.
Minister: What was our initial offer?
Sir Humphrey: £13.5 million now and an extra £2.5 million a year.
Minister: That doesn't sound much like negotiation to me.
Bernard: Yes it is Minister. Negotiation is about discussions leading to an agreement or settlement. We’ve had discussions and have arrived at a settlement, so technically that's a negotiation.
Minister: Thank you Bernard. Which projects are going to suffer as a result?
Sir Humphrey: None of them, Minister. In fact, we’re going to be able to give extra money to everybody else as well.
Minister: But I thought you told me that this was a tight budget settlement? Isn’t that what we told the press as well? I can almost hear my opponents talking about smoke and mirrors already. Where’s all this extra money coming from?
Sir Humphrey: Well, yes, it is indeed a tight budget settlement. Very tight. Lots of belts will have to be tightened all round, but we’ve managed to get some significant extra money for this department this year despite that. And the initial payment of £13.5 million is being made from previous underspends on a range of other projects, so it's not new money at all.
Minister: So I can announce that I’ve saved the Centre from debt, secured its future, and I can still give extra money to everyone else. There are no losers?
Sir Humphrey: Relatively speaking, exactly so, Minister.
Minister: Relatively speaking?
Bernard: Well, Minister, you could have decided not to save the Millennium Centre, and then the money that you’re using to save it could have been put to other uses, so that the people who are getting extra money could have had extra extra money which they are now not going to get, which means that the amount of extra money that they are getting is less than it could have been so that they have lost some of the extra money but are still getting the rest of the extra money.
Minister: What?
Sir Humphrey: Nobody will notice that, Minister. They’ll all be jolly pleased at what an excellent job I, I mean you, have done in getting them extra money.
Minister: But we have secured the Centre’s future?
Sir Humphrey: Oh, yes, Minister. Well, until the next crisis anyway.
Minister: Next crisis? When will that be?
Sir Humphrey: Hard to say, Minister. It should take them at least a year or two to spend all the money we’ve given them before they start to run up new debts.
Bernard: But there will have been a cabinet re-shuffle by then.
Minister: I see. This pot of underspent money that we’re using – is there more?
Sir Humphrey: In what sense, Minister?
Minister: In the sense of pounds and pennies, cash in the bank, money that I can spend. Is there another sense to money?
Sir Humphrey: Well there are always underspends, Minister, otherwise how would any Government ever be able to find money to deal with an emergency like this. But they can only be used to deal with real emergencies. It would be most unwise to use them for anything else.
Minister: So how do I decide what is a real emergency?
Sir Humphrey: Most Ministers are happy to make that decision when they read about it in the papers, or hear about it on the television. That’s the traditional way of doing things.
Bernard: Usually after someone has leaked confidential information.
Minister: But there are some underspends which I haven't yet spent?
Sir Humphrey: Most probably, Minister, but we wouldn’t find them until we looked for them, and we wouldn’t start auditing the other projects looking for underspends until we knew that we needed the money to deal with an emergency.
Minister: So if, hypothetically, there were to be other underspends, we wouldn’t know about them until we looked for them, and we wouldn’t look for them until we needed them, and we wouldn’t need them until there was a crisis, and there wouldn’t be a crisis until I read about it in the papers?
Sir Humphrey and Bernard: Yes, Minister.
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